Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Royal Wedding Poem

Royal Wedding Rolling

The factory never cheered,
As hard as on that day,
When the king to be showed his affection,
With a diamond ring led genuflection.

White collars led the march,
Blue made the parade,
As out the production lines,
spilled royal marinades.

Of Royal Wedding Frying pans with Wills face on non-stick,
Gilded paper bags in which to catch royal sick,
Union jack pants reading ‘wish you were here’
Royal wedding branded, trophy zulu spears.

The royal wedding’s rolling,
Like a conveyor belt.
Reeling off commemorative detritus,
Since the day young William knelt.

The royal weddings rolling,
Just like a juggernaut,
It’ll plough it’s way through London’s streets,
Without a second thought.

Royal wedding decorative chickens,
Not suitable for farms,
Royal wedding alcopops – free with royal rape alarms
Royal wedding oyster cards (still no discount there)
Red and white royal afro-wigs to royal up your hair.

You’re patriotism fading? Never fear –
Here’s a royal list of things at which we sneer,
But gay or black or lower class we still want you involved,
Spend your benefits on royal wedding Barbie dolls.

And royal wedding pints of carling,
Buy one get 10 free,
And royal wedding megamax 3d hd tv.
Royal wedding cereal – ceremonial crownflakes,
And royal jelly dandruff shampoo to wash away those browflakes.

Yes the royal weddings rolling,
And if you’ve still got cash left,
Feel free to donate it to the royal treasure chest.

The royal weddings rolling,
We all must do our bit,
They’re not as solvent as they look you know,
Spare a quid and buy some shit.

Will Coldwell

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